October came and went and with it so did my first month without a fulltime 9 to 5 job since the day after I graduated from college.
And it was…
Not all that much different from my life beforehand.
Granted, I didn’t leave my marketing job because I wanted a drastic lifestyle change. I had no plans to travel the world or even move to a different city. Still, I am a little surprised at how similar my new life is to my former life because before I actually quit, the idea of quitting felt like this huge decision that would change everything.
Now it feels like hardly anything has changed, except how honest I’m being with myself and others about what I do and do not want. That is a wonderful shift in my world but hasn’t changed how I feel on a day-to-day basis all that much.
Most days I’m happy when I get to do the things that make me happy: drinking really good coffee, catching up with close friends, social dancing. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed and anxious about money, but there were days I felt that way even when I had a steady paycheck (sidenote: I’m actively working on my relationship with money. More about that on the blog soon.) Other times I just don’t want to do the #adult things I have to do, like figure out how to get a new driver’s license or fold my laundry.
In a piece about how changing her life didn’t change her as much as she thought it would, Man Repeller’s Deputy Editor, Haley Nahman asked: “How could it be that, although everything’s changed, my mood is still the same?”
I don’t know!
But it is.
And for that, I am oddly grateful.
Realizing that even when everything changes I, for the most part, stay the same, is actually very liberating. It means that even if my plans and dreams and goals don’t go the way I want them to, I will be okay. My world will not end. Acknowledging that fact calms me down and helps me focus (and enjoy) the pursuit of all those dreams and goals.
So that’s what I’m focusing on in November: the pursuit. A big part of why I left my marketing job was because I wanted to write a novel. I made some progress on my manuscript in October, but I also spent a lot of time (too much time I think) worrying about all the ‘what ifs’ – What if it’s bad? What if it’s stupid? What if it never gets published? The fact is, I’ll never know the answers to those questions until I actually write it.
To accomplish that goal, I’m committing to writing every morning (M – F) for the next four weeks before I do anything else.
Do you have any specific plans or goals for November? I’d love to hear about them! Here are a few other things on my mind…
- Do you eat oatmeal for breakfast? I usually make it with banana and almond butter, but for the past few weeks I’ve been adding an egg to it too and I really like it! It makes me feel fuller and it makes the consistency of the oatmeal creamier and fluffier. Here’s an easy recipe if you want to give it a try!
- Mari Andrew is one of my favorite writers and illustrators. I actually got to meet her last spring at one of her readings in New York! This illustration perfectly captures my current dating goals.
- Speaking of dating…this piece by comedian Ginny Hogan made me laugh out loud. If only guys knew how to interpret my texts!
- I finished An American Marriage (in tears!) then started to read it over again. That’s how much I loved it.
Xx
Brielle