Photo by Sagan Schultz (https://www.instagram.com/sagannyc/)
At the end of September, I left my full-time Marketing Director job and the company I had been working with for the past six years.
I quit because, after years of moving “up” in my marketing career I was no longer excited by the actual work I was doing on a day-to-day basis.
Instead of spending the majority of my time working with writers and designers on creative content, I was entrenched in developing project plans, organizing budgets, and following up with team members about various tasks. I was good at those responsibilities, and most days I enjoyed them, but they didn’t make my heart sing.
With each promotion – from coordinator, to brand manager, to marketing director – I grew further away from what drew me to marketing in the first place: telling stories.
That realization was bittersweet. I believed in the company, I had an incredible boss and team. I also had discretionary vacation, really good health insurance, and a flexible work lifestyle that supported my dance aspirations. All of those things made it hard to walk away. I wrestled with the decision for a good part of a year.
How I Made The (Very Hard) Decision To Leave
I’m grateful I worked for a company with an emphasis on supporting the entire person, not just the employee. On top of that company culture, I had a very strong, very honest relationship with my boss. We worked together for almost six years and I knew he valued me and my work. I felt comfortable talking to him about the growing feeling of uncertainty I had about my role and my career. I started a conversation with him way before quitting was a word I was consciously thinking about.
Like the incredible manager that he is, he listened, offered advice, and pointed me in the direction of more resources. Every month or so, he checked in with me to see how I was feeling and what I was thinking. Looking back, I know there was a voice inside my head during that time saying “You need to make a change. Something isn’t right.” But because of all the really great things about my job, including how much I enjoyed working with him and my team, I kept ignoring it.
I was also very good at my job. There were challenges of course, but overall I had learned how to do it well. As I spoke with more people about their careers, listened to more podcasts, and read more articles, it became clearer and clearer that if I left, I wouldn’t just be leaving for another marketing role at another company. I would be leaving for a very different type of job in a very different type of industry. It was hard to give up the comfort I had for the unknown.
The Final Moment I Knew It Was Time To Walk Away
At the end of May, I had a conversation with my boss and CEO about the upcoming year. They outlined what a possible promotion would look like, my next step at the company and in my marketing career. It was a once-in-a-lifetime professional opportunity with a lot of support, and yet, as we talked through the job responsibilities I realized I wasn’t excited about them the way I had been a couple of years ago. I couldn’t ignore that voice inside my head any longer. I knew at that moment that I had to turn it down and walk away.
Declining the promotion was really hard but — as cliché, as it sounds — after I hung up the phone I felt like this huge weight had been lifted.
We decided on a transition date four months later, in September, and I got serious about figuring out what it was I did want to be doing — and about cutting back on expenses.
What I’m Up To Now
By the time my last day at the company arrived, I knew I wanted to turn writing and dance into a full-time professional gig. I wasn’t quite sure how to do that (full disclosure: I’m still not), but I had enough savings to get me through a few months of unemployment as I figured it out.
And that’s what I’m up to now!
I’m working on a novel (loosely based on my senior year of college), writing more often on my blog, babysitting a few times a week, dancing and rehearsing every single day, and talking to writers and editors about how they’ve made it freelancing and what it’s been like to work with different publications.
There are definitely days when I feel a little worried about not knowing what my life is going to look like in a couple of months. There are days too when I feel like giving up. Like I don’t know how to write at all and why am I even wasting my time doing something I will never be good enough at!
On those days I have to remember to trust myself – I learned how to create a marketing plan. I figured out how to hire and train a team. I mastered how to create a project plan and brought to life some really inspiring marketing campaigns.
If I was able to learn how to do those things (& more) I know I will learn how to write the stories I want to share. I will figure out how to make this new life work simply because I always have.
That in itself has been an incredible lesson and if I learn nothing else from leaving my full-time marketing director job, I’m grateful I now know how to show up – and keep showing up – for myself.
Have you ever made a big career change? What made you go for it? I’d love to hear more about it in the comments below!